WRITERS!! The Tuna Carpaccio P.I. Three-Sentence Halloween Contest!
October 26th, 2009 |Here ye here ye! Announcing a new contest where the winner will get ONE OF EACH OF OUR TUNA CARPACCIO P.I. SHIRTS!!
And it’s SO easy! Just answer this one question with three simple sentences:
“What did Jose Maria De Jesus do for Halloween this year?”
Post your answers as a comment to this blog and we’ll announce the winners on Halloween! You should know his habits pretty well by now. Best answer wins… GO!
He and his two goons attended the 4/4 for Halloween night. Their costumes were: Jesus as Tuna Carpaccio, Goon 1 as his boss, Jose M. De J., and Goon 2 as Pamela, hoping to win the prize for best group ensemble. There was orange-and-black soft-serve ice cream, and when Lenny the Weasel won best undead “costume,” Jesus shot him.
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(I’m not sure if you meant “simple sentences” as in grammatically simple, or just rhetorically simple. So I chose the one that suited me.)
De Jesus spent the night stealing candy from the children that mistakenly came to his door. Tiring of that for it being like ‘taking candy from a baby,’ he decided to go on a drive. Amidst the screams, De Jesus wondered why the roads were so crowded.
His blood-sugar levels desperately low after eating too much starch in Prison, De Jesus beaks out of prison and steals an ice cream truck. With a cone in one hand and the other on the wheel, he recklessly drives into town on his way to the disposal yard. Dimly lit children called to the chimes stand no chance as their bits of their costumes get caught in the radiator and are dragged under the axles.
De Jesus normally finds Halloween to be a boring holiday; what’s so exciting about people trying to be scary and evil ‘for fun’ when you are the living epitome of evil?
However, this year he decided to try and scare himself by being nice to other people and so volunteered at a local homeless shelter.
It started off well enough but when one of the people in the queue tried to take the last serving of ice-cream De Jesus lost it and had him blown away by one of his goons: As he watched the ensuing pandemonium he decided that he much preferred scaring others to trying to scare himself.
Thanks for the submissions everyone! They’re definitely all things De Jesus would probably have done given the chance to both celebrate a scary holiday and add to the already ridiculous amounts of danger in the air.
That being said, we’d like to announce that Mr. Eben07 is the official winner with his entry that is, uncannily, EXACTLY what De Jesus did! Honestly, we don’t know how Eben could have known this unless he was deliberately stalking him…
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Regardless, congrats! Till the next contest guy and gals!
Awwwwesome! Though I really need to start proofreading my liveblogging of DeJesus’ travels. My submission is riddled with typos… Thanks guys!
Got my pair of shirts in the mail yesterday! AAAWWWWHHHEsome! thanks guys!